Remus and Sirius FTW! Of course Dumbledore would send them, of all the people in the world.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Severus knocked the cup out of Horatio’s hand. “ARE YOU ALL MAD? WILL YOU STOP POISONING YOURSELVES FASTER THAN I CAN SAVE YOU?”

Oh, Snape. I heart you so much.

This continues to be utterly brilliant -- any chance you'd inflict Snape on King Lear next? He'd probably want to kill everyone in sight within about five minutes...